Adjusting
by Mommy Silver
Summary: Wufei tries to adjust to normal life. help comes from someone he'd never expect him to help...


**Title**: Adjusting

**Genre**: Hurt/comfort

**Summary**: Wufei tries to adjust to normal day life as a Preventer, yet he fails miserably.

**Disclaimer**: America's Next Top Model and Gundam Wing belong to their respective owners.

--

There I was, the last surviving heir my colony. Feared by practically every living mammal alive, including humans. Yes, I am supposed to be fearsome, or something like that. Sally Po calls me another -some, namely HANDsome. Silly woman, to call me handsome.

So, to enlarge my self esteem I was watching this silly stupid girly show named Universe Next Top Model. And all of these silly daft girls had to undergo a make-over. Oh boohoo how terrible. They were crying and howling and screaming that they wanted to keep their hair long and wavy and beautiful, whilst only Sally had an elegance worthy of Paris and Milan and the new fashion capital L3. Okay and Une, but she's my boss, so I'm only saying this because she is my boss. I guess. Not. Yes… no… whatever.

Yet all of these good for nothing girls had this make-over and I thought by myself, why not? Why not cut off my long locks and do something else with my hair? What damage could it do?

A lot, I tell you.

At first, I stared into the bathroom mirror. I had to admit, Sally was right. I do look handsome. But that is not something to be said out loud or in public, for the world will come to a stop whenever I say that outside my bathroom. Trust me. Oh well… that's another story.

So there I was, in the bathroom staring at myself in the mirror, with a pair of scissors in my hand, to cut off my long locks.

Snip! Nip the tip! Oh… Now I AM supposed to cry, or something. But I just listen to the pair of scissors going through my hair, the ssssssssnip-sound as the last hair is cut off and falls onto the bathroom floor. Truly it deliberates me to be rid of that hair.

Now the colouring stuff. I went to the drugstore and found a bottle of blonde hair dye. Yes, when I go radical, I truly indeed go radical! Sally can be proud of me!

Careful I do as told on the discribtion, and… Yukgh! That stuff stinks! Now mix the colouring stuffy with the activator-whatever and add the basically junk-what-am-I-doing-to-myself-stuff.

Before you apply this to your hair, you should try it 48 hours before use, for in case you have an allergy

Oh, now they're writing this! Well… here goes nothing!

And so I did this stuffy in my hair. At first, the stench was unbearable. Horrible, I had to open the bathroom door and hope that the old granny couldn't stare inside. You know, I can stare straight into her bedroom from my bathroom, so she can stare in mine. The first night I… forget it.

After I applied it, I let it stay there, on my hair, for at least 30 minutes. Because that's what the manual said. And said it in French and in German and in Dutch. What do I need Dutch for?!

The stench became bearable. Somehow. It's known that the human nose gets used to certain scents, so after some time you won't smell it anymore, just in case you might smell the Sabretooth tiger that doesn't live anymore. Or the pie granny from across the street makes. Yummy…

--

"Preventer's Office Sally Po speaking." It was a typical abnormal morning at work. No war, no moron who tried to violate peace, no mouse who tried to take over the world, no nothing. She yawned, for if she didn't get any action soon, she might fall asleep.

"sally? It's Wufei! I need you here, quick!"

"Wufei?! What the?!" she tracked his phone line and found that he was still in his house, "Are you trapped? Is someone kidnapping you?" He sounded distressed, she thought, but not alarmed nor in dyer danger.

"No! I just need you here. A woman's thingy I think."

"Lemme guess… you grew breasts and a vagina and suddenly you're having a period and don't know what to do with it? What is this, April Fools Day?! It's freaking April 5th for crying out loud!"

"Oh forget it okay. Just forget it." He hung up, annoyed and irritated, and left Sally all alone, flabbergasted. "Well… that's awkward?"

"What's awkward?" Noin asked her friend, "who was that anyway?"

"Wufei. And he needed my help?"

"Wait a minute… The mighty hero Chang Wufei needing your help? The help of a simple woman? Did he take drugs?"

"No… that's not Wufei!" Both women shook their heads and went back to work, giggling about the fact that Wufei might even need their help… The very idea alone!

--

So there I was, in the bathroom. With the dye out of my hair. And facing myself in the mirror…

My hair turned red. RED! It was supposed to be blonde for crying out loud!

I tried to find the description manual of the hair dye, but I had thrown it away to who knows where. So… let's give the internet a try. But to be honest, when one's looking on the internet for blonde hair dyes, one ends up at "The Nurses". Something of beautiful blonde babes in way too short skirts and showing much breasts and horny doctors lecturing them about… I don't get started with that if you catch my drift. It was hideous and… forget it.

So, I tried the mirror once more. Now it was orange. My once so smooth hair was now orange. Like a frozen orange. Horrible. I looked like a cross dresser and if you gave me a dress, I could very well be one as well.

But than the worst happened. It turned yellow. Like a CANARY! I looked like a singing bird from Spain! Tweet tweet tweet!

When I looked at the house of Granny, I saw her giggling and waving at me. Plucking her hair. Oh what a laughter, the old ladies will have something to talk about for the next five years. Or I should plan a Preventer's mission against them all… gnagnagna…

So there I was, with now turning purple hair. I don't know this stuff, colouring hair and so on, so I just decided to do whatever I liked best. "I don't give a damn!" attitude came back.

The door rang. Oh my God, what am I supposed to do? It rang again. Someone knocked, it sounded very urgently. "hello sir?!"

'Sally?'

I careful opened the door, to find the same old lady who laughed at me a few minutes ago, at my doorstep. She smiled at me, with her toothless grin and her almost blind left eye, 'sir, I saw you from the window.' She spoke with creaking voice, 'what are you doing sir?'

There I was, with a towel around my waist, at her place, in the middle of the night, sitting in her kitchen enjoying myself with some apple pie she had made that day.

'boys like you,' she began pointing her boney finger at me, 'shouldn't mess with looks. You look good enough.'

'Thanks…'

'Looked, that is, for you look like my dog now.'

'Thanks…' It helped a heap.

'Why pretend to be someone else?' she shove me a cup of hot chocolate in my hands and smiled a wide toothless grin at me, 'I never got that. I was the ugliest girl at high school. And even my husband thought I was the ugliest, so he left. But than, when my children grew up, I learned that beauty doesn't come from the outside, nor your self esteem. It's how you feel on the inside. And you know what? You can be gorgeous, when you let go of your past. Let go of your past and grow! Or something like that was said in the Bible…'

'I'm a Buddhist, ma'am.'

'That doesn't matter. We're all the same and Buddha was also an alighted human, right?'

'Yes ma'am.'

'So… the religious fights are solved as well!' proud she drunk her chocolate milk, 'I solved the human problems in one minute. Don't talk about religion, don't talk about politics. Cause if you do, you'll end up in war.' Nodding wisely she took another sip.

I didn't know what to say. For all those years I battled, and couldn't forget, she solved my problems in a minute. Truly gone was Treize, truly gone was my lost Clan, truly gone were my problems.

There she sat, an old woman, grey and toothless, with a nasty cough and a cute little lap dog. And probably the closest person to a mother than I ever had.

--

Owari, ende, fin, fini, einde, the end


End file.
